-entering
A cooool blog
of a mysterious soul....
uncovered...=)
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Wednesday, January 26, 2011*
Down and drifting deeper into senseless hopelessness. What's right? what's wrong? who defines all that I don't know. taking effort from my heart and thoughts has it's drastic effects... too much of it has been given out and for new fears to take over. borrowing down deep within my soul. a point of entry from a negative thought can build up and let the fears that i previously vanguished to take root once again. I don't know if i can wait, if i can pull through this mess... I know.. i have always known there is hope... but I just can't help to think and not be influenced by this world's superficial nature.. how humans react.. how i react.. Is love ever that true and sincere as we all hope for... but we ourselves kill off the ideal. passion, love, hope, wisdom and peace are crucial for every being that wants to strive to be better. But I don't think we give each other the chance to be that, or we ourselves being hard heading not plunging forward when we observe the opportunities pass by us. letting fears eat it all up.. I hope it is just a season, not just being hopeful but the endurance to see things come to pass... positive wishes and goals and not just seeing the initial hope all fade away...
I remember people have been telling me not to think too much and just do. whether is it at sch for friends that I know. I am trying to learn to get out but taking just even a step and i feel i start to analyze.. one feet then lunges forward and suddenly i withdraw the feet back from the unfamiliar ground fear retarding me all throughout.. I know there's an inner strength... a strength He can give.. I need You Lord... Show me You in Your glorious light.. reach out your hand and hold on to me and let me know that everything's alright. You are the loving God.. love casts out all fear.. fear would be condemned by the love you so freely give. But now I feel as though fear it letting all of that slip away bit by bit.. with every effort that I take, to be broken down again. I'm done God.. do You hear me??????????
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