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Wednesday, March 18, 2009*

man... i have no idea whats really going wrong at this period in my life. everything keeps caving in at me. many things are left unattended, unfufiled, hanging. i feel as though trouble is always lurking at the corner when i'm trying my best to keep my feet on track, my eyes on God. i know satan is trying his every means to get at me, to confuse me. while God uses these situations, hard times, obstacles to build my character, increase my capacity at times when i felt like giving up.

recently, i spent a week preparing for the portfolio interview at lasalle. i feel its important to show a 1st good impression at the portfolio interview to kick start a good learning opportunity and consistency at lasalle. i've passed that interview.. then today i spoke to the admin of lasalle about the payment. she told me that the bank loan will only occupy 75% of my fees, the remaining 25% i'll have to fork up myself. they said that they are willing to extend to june for me provided if they still have a place for me in lasalle till then. what i'm worried about is that i might not be able to attend lasalle this year's august intake as i heard this year's enrolment for students are alot more due to the opening of new courses esp in the fine arts area!! meaning more students will be going to visual studies foundation... = lesser chance of me being able to wait till june to submit the 1st semester's $$. the 1st semester's fee is close to $600. at that figure, i feel like fainting already.. how am i going to pay that amount in 2 weeks - thats specified in the letter-?? thats insane.

its just that, its really difficult to remain strong during difficult times. i have to count myself lucky enough.. probably i should put it as fortunate enough to live by God's grace.

yesterday when i did my QT, some verses spoke to me, and that i can relate to it very much. here i'll share one of the few verses :)

' The wicked is ensnared by the transgression of his lips. But the righteous will come through trouble. ' (Proverbs 12:13)

this particular verse really spoke to me as i feel that as we keeps our ways and values grounded in God's word and His spoken word, theres nothing too big we can't face. i feel a good sense of affirmation from God through that verse. its comforting at times like this that i get to know the encouraging side of God, to me. thank you God for Your love, Your Grace and Your mercy.. Thank You for putting me in CHC and putting encouraging ppl and friends around me. even though sometimes ppl et me down, or vice versa, i know You're there beside me. thank you for that.

had fun at7:59 PM