***E Brighter Side!***-

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Saturday, March 07, 2009*

i've been thinking these few days about my future. sitting alone at home, many times feeling uncertain about whats ahead God has planned for my future. i feel afraid at times of venturing into the arts world. often i will have a lack of confidence.. do i really have the talent to compete in the arts market? do i have the passion?? must i take this step, almost seemingly a blackhole full of uncertainties? these questions i usually ask myself...

there was a point around 2+ years ago where my passion in art blossomed immensely.. quickly, i can say in my own terms crazy speed. i searched online for my fav singer, christina aguilera's pictures and i found some drawings of christina that led to deviantart sites and zindy zone. the online talent pool has opened up my eyes to how art can be done, probably, partially should be done. thus i began drawing, driven by my passion for the emotional, expressiveness, and the realistic values of portrait drawing.

it lasted till probably the drawing Concealed Nakedness, and then the Ethereal Vow drawing i did not complete. but after those 2 drawings, i now realize its the lack of inspiration that i did not produce as on-par drawings in my own expectations. from the lack of inspiration, it led to low confidence. it was hugely because i did not know why or what was the problem, why i was feeling really unsatisfied with my art. its like in the past i used to have full of confidence in my drawings to even produce drawings without references. till these days then did i realize why i was lagging behind at my pace in growing artistically. maybe its a partial understanding to why i had the lack of confidence in drawing, but well enough to change my mindset.

years before, i knew inspiration was a major factor to the satisfaction for my drawings, drawing from one's feel. that is what art is all about, to me at least. its final ingredient to make why art is called art. i admit between around the 1yr or more span, i do try to figure whats going wrong, what was happening to my developement, why nothing has changed.. but i was never really sure what was the main reason of my art block. till thse days, and i thank God for it, for he built my confidence once again, not fully. slowly but surely :)

recently i found songs from vita, a russian singer, the songs he sang impacted me. its like opening my eyes towards the passion i once had, to be able to feel as inpired to the peak of my inspiration for conveying an idea as i had before my major art block. maybe i can be labelled as impatient.. i'm still tyring to figure out and at the same time i want to learn ways to draw inspiration for my art in the future.

i have confidence in God for giving me a promising future and i believe it could be in the arts industry.. well.. who knows? =) long and tough way but i think having a love for art once again, beats the odds.

had fun at10:06 PM