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Monday, June 02, 2008*

back again typing an entry....

today starting was good, but very much to my dismay, school ended horribly. i feel so tired, confused and frustrted on certain things.

ok heres a slight intro into the problem.. there is a schmate of mine. i'll name her by just her initials here. she is MX. i don't know her much, i just know her attitude and maturity just, really... sucks. she have shown people like my friend tiff, me and even others with disrespect.

she started to create for herself the fun by verbally bulling my friend. i was constantly irritated her what she doeswhen my friend tiffany discussed about certain issue. i thought females should bemore mature, i have all the respect for the other sex as i know so many females who are very intelligent and independent. she is just one of the few exceptions i guess... she have been addressing me to her friends as tiffany's boyfriend and maybe her own classmate.

so i'll 'narate' the incident to as much as i can recall. 1st i was at the lift area with classmate wei qiang and talking waiting for the lift, MX & her classmates also came to the lift area. and suddenly i hear, ' aye tiffan's bf leh'. there goes my last straw to hold back. this issue has been on for long and as i thought it was getting bettershe made it back to square 1..

when we were entering the lift, i went forward and ask her why she kept refering to me as tiffany's bf when i totally was not. tiff is just a good friend of mine and she found that amusing enough to give the studpi me= tiff bf feedback.. then she like did not reply alot. later when we all just entered the lift, her sms alert rang and i asked her again and she ignored me. how ignorant can she be?

i stared at her while she was using her hp. i was fuming within already. then i just told her something like,' can you stop telling people i'm tiffany's bf, its very irritating'. i was expecting abit of sensible type of reply.. then she just denied calling me tiffany's bf and she said she was or could have said she was calling someone else and how do i know she was referring to me as tiffany's bf. she was OBVIOUSLY in a state of denial and was beating around the bush. crazy to see how timid she is. then i argued with her and told her to stop talking senselessly, or maybe i told her not to act stupid. coz she was literally tring to drown my voice out of the atrocious self-defense.

hey fancy a girl - yea i still have respect t call her that - trying to out talk in loudness to a guy. girls can't out talk and even out-shout the other sex 90% of the time. and she inevitably had to shut up for awhile. i had to show her i was not a push-over. the argument was so bad, we were like raising our voices in the lift with her friends and other ppl in the lift. the quarrel was so horrible - in my standards- that i was just so heated in the head and when the lift opened, i walked out and called her a 'bitch' . i don't think any female will take it in without retorting. she immediately said ' Fuck you! '. i then commented about she fking herself and i told her to go be lesbian at geylang.

i was so horrible. i regretted saying that to her as i knew it was said in impulse. i think she might have been further angered and maybe even hurt by that remark so i admnit i'm in the wrong on that part. then we just departed in seperate, she and her friends i with qiang ge. i can't tolerate hypocrites... enough grace enough for tolerance i have given.. sometimes during times like this people should stand up for their own rights. i refused to be verbally bullied, i thank God for this incident to let me see my flaws and to build up my character. i have no idea how she is taking this whole incident as, but i hope something good will come out of this negative situation. i just hope that she will leave me and my friend alone and keep her negative comments to herself. i terribly hate her attitude, her behaviour but not her. i hope she will realize her mistakes and have more compassion and lov for people.

OK now moving on to more light-hearted stuff ( weird like these few posts i have this concept of putting my unhappy issues 1st then talk about happy things on next half of the post lol. last saturday, after cell meeting, i was discussing music with him. we talked about each other's interest on what we like about music and songs. i think he knows i have trouble putting all the songs into my handphone so he passed tiffany the ipod mp3 player. so that she can pass it to me when i see her in school.

i thank God for letting me know Willy as a person, a friend and a cell menber. he's an inspiring person, has good values and attitude. lots to learn from him and i really thank him for blessing me with that mp3 :) i hope in the future i can more giving like him, and like God.

i think thats all for now. i have to revise for my MRT test tml!

had fun at7:52 PM