***E Brighter Side!***-

-Entries'-

Friday, November 30, 2007*

have been at home, was too lazy to step out of house! damn lol. by right, i should have met up with cell member chen jian for his guidance in math. i was too slacky, hence i'm still stuck at home.

i have been talking to an overseas from Egypt mate i met in an online art forum. he's really nice person. i sent him a scarlett johansson picture and he drew it and dedicated the drawing to me. for the 1st time did anyone dedicate a drawing to me.
heres the drawing he did :D i do appreciate it.

i talked to another art friend Mike. about some stuff regarding the popular artists in the online world. he told me his opinion and made known to me that some artists are falling short on their expressiveness. he told me the importance of expressing what we want, not the masses.. i will keep that in mind. there is a very popular artist that i am quite a fan of. she is known for the emotional art. Mike told me that she might have lost her expressiveness and style of feel from her past drawings. i agree with him. its like some artist try to evolve in their technical skills but it overlapped their previous expressive basic style that made them unique in the 1st place. i learnt alot from that msn conversation with him. Mike is one of most influencial artist on me.

i'm still doing The Ethereal Vow drawing.. feeling very crappy on that. i almost ruin and had slight thoughts of giving up drawing it and just crush the drawing.. but i must persevere on with it- art is supposed to be a fun thing right? after i'm done with that piece, i will start on a drawing of a fellow deviantart friend Lorah. i intend to do a fantasy drawing out of the few photos she sent me, i'd love to dedicate the completed product to her and God. The concept is mainly about christianity.

and i think i WILL start looking for job next week. i wonder how wei en is overseas now, whether he is enjoying himself, haven't talked with him lately.

had fun at6:13 PM

Wednesday, November 28, 2007*

i'm on the computer again today. i received an email today saying that my works are shortlisted in the noise singapore 2007 festival. i was freaggin excited and i thank God for that. the bad part of it is, i wanted to resubmit my works as the drawings i submitted previously are low-quality and there is one drawing i did not submit yet ( the more drawings the better right? ). i later found out that i'm not able to submit anymore drawings! haiz... but still at least my works were shortlisted and i'm grateful for that.

had fun at4:40 PM

yesterday was at the computer as usual... watching youtube blah blah. my life is getting boring now! wei en is overseas and he will be back on dec1. i will ask him if he wants to go to CHC just join for service.

there will be a church camp coming up soon from dec9-12, and i don't think i will be going. its weird to me going to camp as i always.. probably can say hate to go camps! plus i have to get a new sleeping bag and prepare lots of other things! haha.

then yesterday 7pm met up with eyelyn at tanjong pasar ( i think i spelt that wrongly ) for bible study. i think it went well and i'm more fearful of God now, which is a good thing. i have my questions that confused me for quite some time answered :) and thanks evelyn for the book!

i have to get a job soon i suppose.. if not i might need to start revising my subjects again.. talking about revising, i think i've got to meet up with a cell member chen jian for his maths as i heard that he is a math pro!

got to go sleep soon :) already feeling very sleepy...

had fun at3:13 AM

Monday, November 26, 2007*

yesterday i went to CHC service. the pastor preached about trusting in God, and believing in oneself - being useful for Christ. i have an ambition, and the sermon just made e more aware that anything is possible. i feel that going to church, life has been better and made me more optimistic.. which is good! i should probably be sleeping LOL its nearly 4am... so talking about dreams and usefulness, i'll let God use me in whatever he thinks is best for me to do or to be. i really want to, in the near near future, create drawings in total relation about Christ. He just lets me know that there is so much more to life and i am still learning!

well here is an update of how my drawing The Ethereal Vow is coming along. there are still tons of things i need to refine and shade up. no reference used so far :)but i have a STRONG urge to get a reference for hands i am still not good drawing them coz of lack of practice in drawing hands :D this photo is taken with louya 2 mega pixel hp cam, so pardon me for the quality...

here's the drawing :)

had fun at3:27 AM

Saturday, November 24, 2007*

back again blogging... gonna sleep really soon. there are just some things i got to type out... its kind of almost unbearable already.

i don't know why do some people, when they're told they are self-centered and they don't see whats wrong with themselves. and everything we talk its about that person that person only, and that person's interest and thinking... often when we talk, i get 'out-talked' and almost no room to express myself and tell of my experiences... i don't know what why, but it is really irritating when the conversation is always on that one person's likes. when i speak of my interests or add my own humor into the conversation, that person don't even give a reply and just continue with the person's likes... its really frustrating! that person will only laugh or give opinion only when i'm talking of the likes and friends of that person. its giving me a headache. i know no one is perfect and everyone has lots of flaws.. but communicating with a quite overly self-centered person is much to my dislike! may all over-the-top self-centered people stop yakking away all your likes and dislikes and learn to have interest for others'.

had fun at10:46 PM

today was my 1st time going to CHC cell meeting. before that we were playing pool and was quite alright :) after that, then we headed to daryl the cell group leader's house. the cell meeting was good and all and learnt about one should trust and believe in God in whateva we do. i know it and now i will work hard towards my goal, my aim in life, my purpose of living.

apart from all the posititve things, i realized i have issues... i have low tolerance for things and i am really impatient. and i am a really petty idiotic being but i will try my best to change. unhappy about certain things and feeling at some point my life might be wasted and i want to concentrate now about going to church and to know more about God and his people.

one thing i have been experiencing these days is some pop up ads which are very irritating!!! and sometimes there will be like pamela anderson ( howeva you spell ), with the BIG b***** and its disgusting! and sometimes there will be pop-ups with maybe obscene things, and i'm afraid later if those things pop up at the wrong time and my mother or someone happen to see... lol i'll be embarrassing! :D

ok its time for lunch now.. i mean dinner, and i'm having chicken rice AGAIN..

had fun at7:24 PM

Friday, November 23, 2007*

today i think i'm staying at home, probably gonna do my drawing later.

just then, i was on my com and viewing christina aguilera's live performance. then my mother came over and told me about the things of christianity that i already knew of. she then pointed at the video and said she is nothing... i have to admit i was rather offended. sometimes when people do not know something and criticize or put off another person just like that. i realized that many people do not know what artists do, how meaningful is the job/hobby.

fine arts artist, composers, and even singers when they use their talent merging with creativity, they are called artist. there is a meaning to their works. i do hope some people can just open their eyes wider to the arts world and don't just put down some art or artist when they know nothing about it....

just the other day, i posted a new drawing at thotpost.com,this is the drawing.

called Seductress by Day and Assasin by Night.
at thotpost, the members commenting and voting of works from other members isn't that much active as yet. i when back and check the other day and found that someone just rate my drawing 2/5... i was really pissed. are the youths of singapore that childish and love to put down other persons' work? that member ( which i have no idea who he/she was ), gave me a rating two and did not even leave a comment to state on the rate. i can almost say its kind of a prank... same goes to my other drawings... from a rating of 5 it dropped to 3.. people just rate your works down without even commenting on why, no constructive critques.. i know my drawings are not perfect but i do not think it needs to be put down or prank(ed) upon like that.

i just hope people will learn to appreciate art more.

had fun at2:31 PM

Wednesday, November 21, 2007*

its 1am le... i have been looking and exchanging comments with an anti-christian idiot in STOMP forum. its really irritating how dumb and stubborn and even childish he is. well enough said kn that crappy deviliscious person -.-'

so have been on computer for almost the rest of the day, i wanna go look for job! haiz... so i gonna buy newspaper today.. and search the classifieds..

then later at 6plus i went out of bus and talking to tiffany on the phone.. just before the bus arrived, i realized i forgot to bring my wallet.. so i rushed home and i missed my bus.. when i came back i waited very long for next bus to arrive... and was late for the bible study. evelyn a cell member gave me bible study and went through some good points and i need to refresh my memory as well about somethings... my brain is very rusty already after a looooong time without touching the bible. bible study was fruitful and the $4.50 lychee drink was on evelyn's treat = feeling weird not paying my own drinks haha.

well and i hope wilson can come to CHC and attend the cell group as well, have been trying not to sound forcing as i learnt from the anti-christ case already. i hope to know God better and am going to read the bible more latewards :) thats all for today :) :) :)

had fun at1:02 AM

Monday, November 19, 2007*

hmm its over 12am now...

yesterday ( sunday ), tiffany brought me to CHC. the service was interesting but only worship part i felt kinda awkward ha. there was a guest speaker who preached and painted during the service and it turned out quite alright :). after which i went, same as lots of other people, to the front to pray and receieve Christ back again. there was something different though. in the past, i could feel like God's presence during service but today i am not too sure though... but still i believe that i'll get closer to God by church.

there are nice people in the church also, and everything was fine eventhough i feel abit weird and clumsy today haha.

finally... Christina Aguilera's concert live DVD is out already! its actually released on 18th Nov. i'm so gonna get her dvd :D :D.

well thats it for today :)

had fun at12:04 AM

Thursday, November 08, 2007*

YIPPIE finally exams are over ^^

even though i'm feeling tired now, but at least i don't feel stress... i don't know why these few days i haven't got the mood to do many things.. it the so-called SIAN mood. i slept only 4hrs plus and now my neck is aching. my eyes are less resistant against the computer screen already - meaning just within short-span of time in looking at the screen my eye hurt and i get all the computer headache and aching problems...

i think i'm going ti Tiffany's cell group next week in City Harvest. just hope i'll go :) then i can receive salvation from God once more and get to kow Him better :) Now so fatigue.. dunno what to say sia... o ya.. and i should start looking for a job soon since i so free now lol.

exams are over, and the load of burden no longer exists in my mind, but there is a kind of weird feeling of numbness in my mind after exams... i wonder what will i be 10yrs down the road, will i get what i want to achieve? or will i ever reach my goals? nomatter what its still essential to carry on living with a positive mindset. i don't know what God has install(not really sure if this is the right word) for me.

thats it for today i guess. :)

had fun at4:38 PM

Saturday, November 03, 2007*

today i woke up like around 7pm? i did not sleep the day before and i slept at around 11am today. i know thats kinda crazy lol.

so i woke up and eat and use com, i did not study the whole day... i'm feeling sians the whole day... no ups no downs... feeling tired, i can't really feel motivated todraw alot as i do still feel guilty to draw! haiz. coz i did not study and partially, i have no mood to draw.

i have no idea how to learn ss in such a short time. monday will be my ss exam le and i did not go through any work or notes... rather fatigue within. nothing much to write about todae but i'll just post a scan of my kind of latest drawing...

its called The Ethereal Vow, not completed so looks rather weird everywhere :D

had fun at10:17 PM

Friday, November 02, 2007*

back here again, and just changed my blog. i don't really like the emo type of blog... not the depressed kind of person as in the past le :) learn't that in life must be positive nomatter what downs you face, its still part and parcel of life :).

todae was physics. was quite alright ba, but i doubt my physics standard can pull up my chem's marks... so i'll just have to retake next year as well as math. its worth it - and i've learn't my mistakes already. i think it will be better to retake so i can get better score in next year's o' levels. i don't really think going to an art school is a good idea as i've heard we will not have much freedom in what art we like to do, so no art school for now i guess.

here is a favorite drawing of mine called Concealed Nakedness

Poem i wrote to go along with this drawing:
She was a naive being
Always carried the innocent thought
That life was always filled with vibrance and beauty
Positive feelings was all she knew

Then one day darkness and gloom rained on her
Just like how positive and negative always come together
Hurt and pain trickled through her veins
All the fears not worth her tears

Emotional roots tangle and suffocate
She sunk deep into the emotions
Scanning down to the very depth
Where she found a heaven that her beauty truely lies

She danced and swirled in the moods of darkness
Ignoring the childish spirits of others
Even when they grasp every means to taunt and slash at her
Once again the positive in her arises
Enjoying the fruits of Concealed Nakedness
............................................................................................
General Meaning Of The Drawing:
everyone has been hurt by others, including myself. everyday we tend to think and we look at our inner selves. even so, we are self-concious on how people might look at us from the outside like judging a book by its cover.

the significance of the hair represents a problem ( am example of many problems we face daily ), a trouble, a complication thus its tied into a knot. black and white represents good and evil. i believe there is nothin in between good and evil such as half good. it attracts like how positive with negative like magnetic forces. the white hair is generally neater and pure, while the black as you can see is rather disoriented and messier than the white hair, which in this case made the messy black hair disoriented. finally the hair black and white seperates, a problem, a trouble's resolved.

the background represents a lonely gloom, like clouds rotating like a giant whirl of mood she sunk herself into. its how i visualize a surreal form of how we look at ourselves from within.

her pose is in a dancing position. dancing away all her troubles, fears and uncertainties. the hair ends with a slight glow representing understanding in an emotional form. she touches it and understands how to cope with the trouble.
.........................................................................................

Pencils: 2b, 6b
this drawing is done with no reference
done probably around 11hrs

PS: i paste the whole lot of thing regarding the drawing directly.. hope its fine :)
will be blogging later :)

had fun at1:21 PM